Birthdays Rock!

I am just putting this out there.  Once you are faced with a health crisis, you (hopefully) realize how lucky you are to wake up every day. 

Last Thursday,  I turned 45!  Woot! Birthdays are big after being ill.  In 2018, the day before I turned 40 sucked big time.  I was at my staging appointment with the oncologist (scared, not knowing if I would be around next year, much less FIVE years from now).  I have had SO MANY opportunities to share my story since then. Am I sad that cancer is a part of my story? Hell, yes. BUT.  Without that diagnosis, I would not be where I am today.  I am not sure if there is a reason for everything, but I'm here and will make a difference while I am able to.  

 That's me in my 2018 glory. Now, I am 45.  It was a great birthday.    

Target Parking Lot

You may be wondering what happened after I found out that I had cancer.  I was numb.  I had my husband meet my Mom and I at the doctors.  I heard snippets of the conversation...that they "think they caught it early".  Little did I know... no one knows what stage you are until the surgeon opens you up.  The drive home from the doctor was a blur.  I remember hearing my Dad tell his work that he wouldn't be coming back; that his daughter was sick. I thought "Wow.  This must be shitty if Dad isn't going to work".   My Mom got medical leave..they dropped everything to help my husband keep the house running like a machine. And I focused on my health.

I will be FOREVER GRATEFUL for parents like mine. They are the best. 

HI! You have cancer...

My name is Nicky.   I was at work when I got the phone call that divided my life in half.  Before Cancer and After Cancer.   

Blissfully unaware and hyperaware (is that even a word?) of every move, every ache.  

I can tell you that I literally turned around in my classroom to look behind me-because I thought my doctor was talking to the wrong patient.  I can tell you that I heard church bells ringing in my head, and my body went numb.  

My preschool students walked into the classroom where I was the Teaching Assistant.  Smiles on their faces; back from holiday.  And that is how I remember everything changed.