Things Are Feeling Better

 All I need to say is phew. It took a moment to feel like myself.  I had/have been experiencing health anxiety for about 6 weeks.  I don't know what triggered it, or why some days have been better than others. I do think it has had to do with being menopausal.  And because I thought it was menopausal, I did what most women would do.  

I called my gyn doctor, and talked with the triage nurse who was so sweet.  The following morning, I had a telehealth appointment with a NP. I understand that the medical profession is extremely busy. However, she didn't listen to any of my concerns, I spent a total of SIX MINUTES on the telehealth call. 

I then called my GP, and we talked about what was going on-not feeling like myself, mood swings, etc. I am so thankful that I felt heard. I have been making it a point to take care of me, walking, pool time where I can just float..I am feeling so much better. Cheers to taking care of YOU.

Health Anxiety 2

I am not perfect.  The health anxiety and fear that I have of cancer coming back is so overpowering that I can't function. I don't know how to fix it.  I feel like I have failed even sharing these thoughts. However, I am sharing in hopes that it helps someone else. 

https://www.cancer.gov/news-events/cancer-currents-blog/2020/cancer-survivors-managing-anxiety-distress#:~:text=Approaches%20that%20have%20been%20shown%20to%20be%20helpful,self-management%2C%20exercise%2C%20and%E2%80%94in%20some%20cases%E2%80%94antianxiety%20or%20antidepressant%20medications.

Anxiety Lately

  It has been awhile! I have been feeling antsy. I don't share this to have anyone feel sorry for me.  It feels good to share this part of my story.  As someone who struggles with anxiety, I hope by my sharing, that even one person feels less alone.  I have been worried about cancer recurrence lately.  I threw my back out a week ago, and although it is much better now, any pain that I have, I fear that it is the C word.  I start thinking these morbid thoughts, so this blogpost today may be a little much for some people.  

I think about death every day.  I wonder if I am normal for thinking this way.  Do most cancer patients have PTSD and struggle with anxiety? My best educated guess is yes.    I definitely don't WANT to die.  I worry that I won't be alive for graduations, or marriages, and grandkids.  Sometimes I talk about the future, and in the back of my mind it's like there is a voice that will whisper "hopefully I will be around for....".  I get so mad at myself for thinking this way.  I put this unrealistic pressure on myself to try and be present for everything with my kids. All that ends up happening is me being present, but not really, because I am reminding myself to pay attention! Or trying to remember and take in the moment which winds up with me not being able to enjoy it as much as I should be.  It's exhausting.   

I am not sure what caused this anxiety to creep in lately.  I know that it will pass.  I know that it helps me to write about it.  Thank you for reading.   

Showing Up: Perspectives on Cancer

I am honored to share that I was interviewed for Showing Up: Perspectives on Cancer with Tim Sohn and Shannon Lee-Sin.  The topic of the episode has to do with the need for doctors to take women's health concerns seriously.  As can be expected, I had a few things to say about that! 

I have to say, I always get super nervous before talking to a group of people that I don't know.  A classroom of kids, no problem! Adults? My mouth gets dry, as if somehow my body forgets how to produce saliva. 

This is the first time that I had spoken with Tim and Shannon, and I was not nervous! They made me feel comfortable immediately.  They have created a safe space for people to share their experiences with cancer.  

I have attached Episode 109 for your viewing pleasure! Enjoy! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rU-quOstfsw

2023 State of Survivorship Survey and What it Means for the Future of Survivorship

 It has been awhile! The two sports that my kids take part in have been crazy busy.  Models 2 and 3 have had swim practices and meets...Model 1 has had out of state tournaments! I get a little geeked out with research and data, especially when it focuses on education or cancer survivorship! From February 2023 through June 2023. the National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship administered their annual survey on the State of Survivorship in the United States.  The goal of this survey is to better understand survivors' needs, attitudes, and experiences.  They surveyed over 2300 cancer survivors and caregivers that have been affected by various types of cancer, different diagnoses/stages, background, and socioeconomic status.  

Through this survey, it was found that 77% of cancer survivors' main focus was on eradicating the cancer from their bodies, whereas caregivers focused on what they could do to make their loved one comfortable.  Patients that were connected to the NCCS in some way as a survivor/caregiver were more apt to get as much information as possible on the type of cancer afflicting them/their loved one, as well as treatment options.

One reason that I feel lucky to live in western NY is because there are a variety of oncologists, specialists, etc. that were available to me when I was going through treatment. I was also informed of my survivorship plan after treatment was complete.  In my time as an Elevate Ambassador for NCCS, I have met a lot of survivors and thrivers that are not given a plan after cancer.  One thing is for sure-being a part of the Cancer Club sucks...knowing about cancer survivorship and how I can be supported during and after treatment helped my mindset tremendously.  

In my next blog post, I will talk specifically about disparities, financials, working with cancer, and integrative care.  

*This information was found via the link below:

https://canceradvocacy.org/2023-state-of-cancer-survivorship-survey

Caregivers

February 16 was awesome for two reasons this year.  It's my birthday, and I found out it was National Caregivers Day! Caregivers are an important part of getting through cancer.  They can be a loved one or a close friend(s).  They see us through the physical and mental rollercoaster that takes place at diagnosis and treatment, often helping with doctors appointments, grocery shopping, and other daily activities.  

My husband and my parents were my caregivers.  I was able to focus on myself so that I could get better.  Friends dropped off meals, took kids to school, sent uplifting cards, and would stop by to say hello.  A few of my favorite memories with my caregivers:

 1) Trying on crazy blonde wigs for me-yes, even my Dad! They looked hilarious.  

2)  Going in for my first wig fitting, crying when my Mom put a Dorothy Hamill wig on me and then laughing when the wig fitter said my Mom had an abnormally large head, and "with a head that size", she would have to put in a special order.  

3) My Mom following me to the bathroom on chemo day, "just in case" I needed help, and when I assured her that I could pee by myself, even with my IV's in and the damn awkward pole, I shut the bathroom door...only to hear her on the other side saying "I'm still here!", and 

4) B going to chemo with me just so we could be together to celebrate our 10th anniversary with cake for everyone on the chemo floor. 

While being a caregiver can be overwhelming and lonely at times, it is okay to take time for yourself!  Your physical and mental health are important, too.  For more information on the role of caregiving, please see the following links:

https://www.cancer.org/cancer/caregivers.html 

https://canceradvocacy.org/resources/ 

https://www.caregiveraction.org/

World Cancer Day 2024

 

This day is for those who’s lives have been touched by cancer.  Unfortunately, all of us know at least one person affected by this beast.  Currently, there is not enough research being conducted on all cancers, and inequities in cancer diagnosis, care, and survivorship are growing.  

Cancer rates are increasing in young people-in fact, this week I read that colon cancer is on the rise in young adults in the United States! More research means more knowledge about cancer prevention, treatment, and survivorship.  The figure below lists ways that we can reduce the chances of cancer.  

I’m going to be honest. When I interpret this table, the I see myself saying “I don’t smoke, my weight is ok, I don’t drink much, I use sunscreen…”. I wish I had the answers as to why some people (unfortunately) go through cancer, and others don’t.  However, having gone through cancer, I do my best to prevent what I can from getting it again.